I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
