They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
