So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
