i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
