the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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