I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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