I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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