Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
