i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
