And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
