there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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