I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im having a threesome with these popsicles
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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