Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
