She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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