I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
