Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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