we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
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Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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