Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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