I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize