My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You are a genius and a whore.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
