I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
