And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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