This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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