dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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