I'm lost and stupid without you.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
