Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize