I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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