If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
