CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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