it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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