she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
