some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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