so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
