Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
