omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Two words: nipple clamps
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