THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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