Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
