capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.