hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok