I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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