There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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