i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
