just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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