Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize