Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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