Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Everclear isn't food dammit
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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