So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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