my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
