Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
