I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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