"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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