he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
