dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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