and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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