you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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