She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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