yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
